Snowed Under With Invitations

At no time in a lengthy life have I had to choose between invitations, accepting one and being forced to decline others. The truth is that when invitations are being extended, newspaper reporters seldom are at the top of the guest list. Many people don't even like to sit at a restaurant table with a reporter, let alone invite one to some gala affair.

So invitations have been few and far between. Until now. The problem is that suddenly several websites for writers have sprung up and one of their features is the ability to invite people to be your friend. That means displaying your friend's picture on your site, stuff like that.

For a reason I haven't figured out, scads of people want to be my friend. Perhaps it's because my own website displays a notice reminding me every morning that I have no friends.

Whatever, my e-mail has been overflowing with requests for friendship. Sometimes to one site, sometimes to another, sometimes to both. Not wanting to be considered a self-centered, stuck up, boorish oaf - well, some people do think of me that way - I have been accepting all these offers.

All but one. A pleasant young lady obviously sent out one of those mass mailings and my name happened to be on it. I say obviously because it was a request to join a dating service.

Now there may have been times in my life when I would have leaped at the chance to chat with young ladies throughout the world. I mean c'mon, boys will be boys. However, at the ripe old age of 82 I find my desire for such pursuits has waned. I mean who wants to get the reputation of being a dirty old man? Besides that, my wife won't let me.

So the bottom line is that I now have oodles of friends. In fact I have so many that I'm hoping to open my e-mailbox some day and not find a dozen invitations from even more people hoping to attain that exalted status. I'll admit, though, that so far I have not deleted that one asking me to join a dating service. What would happen, I wonder, if I clicked on that "accept" button? Well, as they say, ignorance is bliss so I suppose I had better remain blissful. That should avoid such future problems as not being served lunch tomorrow.

www.dickstodghill.com