The smell of a good man

After reading a story in an Irish newspaper this morning I'm next door to being in a state of shock. Men, it says, spend more time in front of a mirror than women. They have hair removed from their chests and legs by laser. They get nose jobs. They have their bodies waxed. They use a wide selection of creams and lotions. They not only wear perfume but have several varieties because who would want to smell the same at a football game and a dance?
They don't say perfume, they say scent, but a rose by any other name . . .
It seems I'm even more outdated than I thought. In my heyday back in the 20th century men weren't supposed to smell at all and certainly not like they just stepped out of a Parisian bordello. The fragrance of sweat after a hard day's work was acceptable until there was time for a shower. Hair on your chest and legs were symbols of pride, of masculinity. Tilting a burning candle was the only way you might get waxed.
The Irish Independent is one of the best newspapers from around the world that I read on a regular if not daily basis but this time I hope it missed the mark. That's possible because all the men quoted were either male models or American movie actors. Somehow I don't believe the average Irishman goes around smelling like a Dublin streetwalker and I seriously doubt that he has his chest and legs lasered. Most of them, I'll wager, are quite content with their own nose. As for a wax job, the mind revolts.
But I wonder how women feel about all this? When they get together for a hot date do they sometimes say, "Oh, Dah-ling, you'll have to go home and shower because our perfumes clash?" Do they compare shaved and lasered legs?
If someone asks me, which they probably won't, I will tell them I hate perfume on both males and females. There used to be a woman in our building who apparently bathed in Eau de Swampwater because an elevator ride with her left me gasping for breath. As bad as that was, being close to a perfumed man is worse. Maybe American men are lagging behind the trend because I seldom smell anything when I'm near one. But if wearing perfume is the wave of the future for guys, I'm glad I'm not young anymore.

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