Look Out World, My Rollator Has Arrived!

Remember the old Tennessee Ernie song that warned, "When you see me comin', better step aside. A lotta men didn't and a lotta men died." Well, that's my theme song now because I picked up my new Dolomite Legacy Rollator at the VA clinic yesterday and from now on it's Katy, bar the door!
I gave it a test drive at a supermarket and little old ladies were screaming and leaping aside as I charged down one aisle after another. Admittedly, being run down by a rollator isn't quite the same as being mashed under the tires of an 18-wheeler, but even so it wouldn't be much fun.
When I tired of scaring white-haired old frails I went over near the front entrance, locked it in place and sat watching the world go by - or at least the shoppers on their way in and old. Many of them cast admiring glances my way and a few even said I looked comfortable. Next time I'm going to take a tin cup along, hold it out and maybe make a few bucks.
I was wrong about one thing when I wrote about my rollator on a previous occasion. I said it cost $149, but that's the model for peasants. Mine lists for $349 but can be had for the bargain price of $274.95 if anyone's interested in acquiring one of their own. Mine was a gift from the VA, of course, meaning you may have helped pay for it. So thanks, but the next time just send the money.
A few things in the catalog bothered me a little because I wouldn't want people getting the wrong idea. The real sore point was reading that my rollator serves a useful need for Alzheimer patients. Not one word concerning its value for weary old infantrymen, but I'm sure that was an oversight on their part.
So that's about it although I might mention that my rollator and I traveled down to the Circle K store on the corner this morning and were chased by only one dog. All that's left to do now is start my customizing work. I mentioned a few ideas earlier but the manager of our apartment building came up with a couple of more - a headlight and reflectors on the back. As I am actually the back, not the rollator itself, he said I could slap a couple of butt reflectors on my pants, which I thought was a rather crude suggestion.
After giving it more thought there is one other thing on the agenda - heading out to one of the malls and scattering the crowds. Yes, this is number one and the fun has just begun.

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