Ah, There's Good News Tonight

Remember Gabriel Heater? If you answer "yes" - well, let's just say you weren't born yesterday. Gabe had a news show on radio back during the 1930s and '40s and as often as not he came on the air saying, "Ah, there's good news tonight." That was encouraging to hear, of course, except that sometimes his idea of good news was announcing that if Hitler were given a large chunk of Czechoslovakia he would have no further territorial ambitions in Europe.

So with that in mind let me say, "Ah, there's good news tonight." Actually it's morning but it's bound to be night somewhere. So the football coach at Buchtel High School in Akron was hauled off to prison for engaging in sexual activities with a 17-year-old student. Female student. The judge told him this was not a nice thing to do just before a deputy slapped handcuffs on the coach and started him on his journey.

Let's face it, some people might not see this as good news because Buchtel is an inner city school. Graduates and drop outs have an equal opportunity of being shot before they reach the age of 25. Coach was a role model for boys who otherwise might be hanging out on one of the street corners where the shooting often takes place. Seeing coach led away to a new home where he probably will meet numerous former students hardly qualifies as a good thing.

(Note to Cleveland TV news people: It isn't BUCK-tel High, it's BOOK-tel. You know, like those things that a few people occasionally read. Your studio is only 35 miles away so you should have known that without me telling you.)

But back to the good news. Up in Cleveland a policeman was arrested for raping a woman before, during or after a party. There seems to be a bit of confusion on the issue. This has to qualify as good news because when the unfortunate victim yelled, "Call a cop!" there was one close by.

As usual there's a lot of good news coming out of Iraq. Thirty-two people were killed when a car packed with explosives blew up at a crowded marketplace. The previous day it was 53 people so conditions are improving.

The search goes on for three American soldiers who went missing after their position was attacked by insurgents. This happened in a place known as The Triangle of Death. Now you'd think that alone would make prudent men a little wary, but not so. These men and five others, now all dead, were sent out by their officers to a place near a spot where just a year ago two soldiers went missing. Everyone seems to agree the men in the latest incident should never have been in so risky a place unless a lot more of their buddies were there with them. Ironically, this comes at the same time it is announced that the officers in charge of last year's nearly identical event have been disciplined because the victims should never have been in so risky a place unless a lot more of their buddies were there with them.

So once again it turns out that the Army has a number of officers who aren't too swift at catching onto things. Even Gabriel Heater would have found it difficult to see anything good in that.

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