Hamsters Behaving Badly

Well, Mr. Zip-Zip is in big trouble. That's why Hamster Ralph, who can be found on Hallmark greeting cards, looks so concerned. Ralph's picture is one of about two dozen on my screen saver but it seems that he appears far more often than any of the others. I am convinced that's because he knows two hamsters live with us and he wants to be reassured that they are OK. So I reassure him.
Jackie says it is really weird that I talk to the picture of a hamster on my computer screen but I don't find it weird at all. Any normal person with a bit more compassion than a serial killer would want to comfort such a cute little guy as Ralph. So I let him know that everything is OK and he has nothing to worry about. Then he goes away and one of the other pictures appears. I never talk to any of them. Well not often, anyway.
But back to Mr. Zip-Zip, who looks exactly like Hamster Ralph. He and his mortal enemy, Joey, were rolling around from room to room and up and down the hall in their plastic balls, which they do every morning, when Mr. Zip-Zip got into deep doo-doo right up to his little ears. When he got tired, Mr. Zip-Zip, also known as Zippy, decided to rest in the bedroom. He found a nice dark spot right beside the bed and, as it turned out, right beside one of Jackie's socks.
Anyone familiar with the plastic balls for hamsters and other little critters knows they have tiny slits so whoever is inside can breathe. These slits are less than an eighth of an inch wide. And anyone familiar with hamsters and other little critters knows they are always on the lookout for nesting material. Like wool socks.
So, although it seems impossible, Mr. Zip-Zip managed to pull about one-third of that sock inside his plastic ball through one of those tiny slits. Then he chewed it up so it could be tucked away in one of his pouches. He might have pulled all of it inside the ball had he not been caught in the act. This, by the way, was not some ordinary sock but one of the special kind that Jackie wears under her boots when she goes outside in cold weather.
Poor Mr. Zip-Zip was chastized. "OK," said Jackie, "that does it. Out on the balcony you go."
No one believed she really meant it, of course.
Except Hamster Ralph. He believes it. That's obvious from the worried look on his face. I've tried to reassure him that everything is OK and Mr. Zip-Zip is sleeping soundly in the little house inside his cage. But somehow I can't convince Ralph of that. You can tell he isn't convinced by that concerned look on his face. Guess I'll just have to keep on trying.

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