A Day when the Sun Shines Brightly

Remember when Gabriel Heatter began his evening radio newscast by saying, "Ah, there's good news tonight"? No, you don't remember unless you've been to the county fair more than a few times because Gabe hit his peak during the years of World War II. As often as not his good news concerned a battle in which 10,000 men died or the bombing of a German city that claimed three times that many lives.
But reading a few newspapers from various countries this morning made me realize Gabriel would be beside himself with joy today. First was a story out of India which serves as a warning to husbands to watch their mouths. A bride of only a month was distressed when the man she married said another woman was more beautiful than her. She tied the brute to a chair, doused him with paraffin and struck a match. A date has not been set for the murder trial.
Some cops in Sierra Leone are upset because cobras and vipers have taken over their police station. They set fire to it but that didn't help so they've called out the army. It just shows that snakes don't care what kind of company they keep.
Right here in the States Cher's daughter Chastity is having a sex change so she'll be a man and no longer have to worry about being chaste.
It was England that provided the most shocking news. Not because golfer Nick Faldo is being knighted by the queen, no it's worse even than that. At that bastion of higher education, that center of knowledge and culture, Cambridge University, a sign has been posted reading DO NOT PARK YOU'RE CYCLE HERE.
It's true, I'm afraid, the world as we have known it is gone. We are rapidly regressing to the Stone Age and in another 50 years people will be living in caves. Then, at least, there no longer will be cause for octogenarians to say, "What's the world coming to?"

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