Gullible's Travels Revisited

We had lunch out today and it brought to mind a story I recently read for the sixth or seventh time, Gullible's Travels by Ring Lardner. Lunch was at a place down the road called Eddy's. I am sorry to say it was not named for Jack Eddy, the protagonist of a series I've been writing for 20 years.
If you have not read Gullible's Travels I suggest you immediately find a copy. A man and his wife hoping to do a little social climbing travel from South Bend to Palm Beach and their adventures are hilarious. In one incident, Gullible watches a man order dinner and have every selection overruled by his spouse. That's what brought Lardner's story to mind while ordering my lunch today. With a few editorial liberties taken, it went like this:
"I'll have the fish sandwich special. "
"That comes with three choices of soup."
"Forget the soup."
"The sandwich has lettuce and tomato and -"
"No lettuce and tomato."
"And a slice of onion."
"Hold the onion."
"Also a wedge of dill pickle."
"No dill pickle."
"You get French fries with that."
"Forget the French fries."
"Do you want ketchup with the fries?"
"I don't want the fries. All I want is the damn fish sandwich."
"I forgot to mention the container of tartar sauce."
"Just bring me a glass of water. I've lost my appetite."

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