The Donald Played His Trump Card

Well, like most true-blue Americans I sure did breath a sigh of relief this morning when I learned that Donald Trump's fine head of hair was intact. I should have known that last night, of course, but in a striking example of elder abuse Jackie refused to allow me to watch Wrestlemania on Pay-Per -View. Not only does she think that professional wrestling is for louts, she believes that paying more money than we already do for cable TV is a sucker's game. Boy, talk about a killjoy.
Trump and Vincent Kennedy McMahon, head man of World Wrestling Entertainment, had a bet on a match between the wrestlers of their choice and the loser had to submit to having his head shaved. Everyone knew it would be the cantankerous Mr. McMahon who would end up a skinhead, but the build up to it was fun.
So O.K., I'm a loutish sucker. I will argue, though, that wrestling is by far the best entertainment on the tube. Better even than Americal Idol and that's saying a lot. Yes, we all know that it isn't exactly on the up and up, but how many things are these days? You want drama, well here it is. The acting beats 90 per cent of that you'll see on brainless sitcoms and cop shows and what else is there on TV in the 21st century? You want action, well here it is in spades.
But it's not for real, you say? Are you completely sure that the other sporting events on the tube are strictly legit? I'm not. And on pro wrestling you don't have to watch overpaid, under-talented prima donnas acting like they are something special when half of them can't spell cat or dog like any first-grader is capable of doing. Sure, you see that stuff on pro wrestling, but as you said it's not for real. It's acting, and everyone knows it, but that doesn't spoil the fun in booing the bad guys and cheering for the good ones.
As for athletic ability, pro wrestlers put all the others to shame. As Sylvester Stallone said about it, "You can't fake a fall." And these guys (and the women too) don't just fall, they get hurled down from great heights and tossed around like rag dolls. The top stars of the NFL would take a month to recover from one match but the wrestlers do it four or five times a week.
No, you can't fake a fall. That's why there are quite a few injuries. Shattered kneecaps, busted up shoulders, backs and necks. Then after the surgery and the time recuperating at home they're back at it again.
Who are these guys? Well, there is the Olympic gold medal winner from 1996. There are a couple of collegiate national champions and every other variety of top athlete you can name. And a few real monsters standing seven feet tall and weighing 350 pounds or more. And yet some six-footer will lift one of them up over his head and toss him out of the ring. Yes, these fellows are athletes like you'll see nowhere else. And movie actors, some of them, because when casting an action shows there is no better place to look for talent. Or skilled actors.
So as I've pointed out before, when all the cheering and booing is over for the night everyone goes home happy because there are no losers, only winners. Great fun, that's all it is. Oh, and one more thing: you'll see the wrestlers making regular trips to Iraq. And there, on occasion with an explosion not too far away, you'll find the servicemen and women doing the same thing the crowds back home do - cheering, booing and just having a rip-roaring good time.
So this evening I'll tune in Monday Night Raw and I know they'll show some highlights from Wrestlemania. I'm anxious to find out how John Cena's match with the Heartbreak Kid turned out and I'm sure glad I won't have to see Donald Trump's locks being shorn. You don't see a head of hair like his every day.

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