My Pill Box

I'm sure everyone is as interested in my pillbox as I am so it seems time to write about it. To be truthful about this, I'm not at all interested in my pillbox but I have to fill it every Sunday morning. This is not some puny little pillbox but one with twenty-eight compartments, four for every day of the week. Each day's container can be snapped out so the owner of this device can carry it around all day if he so desires. I do not.

I take thirteen pills a day and have no idea what most of them are for. The doctor says take 'em so I take 'em. Isn't that good enough? I do know about a few. Among them is Lasix, which is supposed to keep you busy looking for a bathroom. The pills don't work, but when you're in the hospital and they have it drain into your arm, that works. Boy, does it ever.

Then there is Dipentum. I know it's for ulcerative colitis because I first took a different pill called Asacol. I'm not sure how much good it did for colitis, but it provided me with an itchy rash all over my body, completely killed my appetite and kept me from sleeping at night. Aside from that it worked fine, I guess.
I take four Dipentums a day. With food. As I don't eat four meals a day I take two at a time. Then there is Plavix and everybody who watches TV knows it keeps little gray balls from bunching up in ugly red tubes. Beyond that I haven't a clue. There are a couple of other pills I've never quite figured out because they have names like Chopthedogup and Metropolitanpolice.
The doctors said I was supposed to take a pill called Norvasc but the VA, which supplies my pills, substituted one called Plendil. Then, believe it or not, a nationwide shortage of Plendil developed so the VA substituted Norvasc. Things like that explain why I don't try to understand this stuff.

The worst thing about Norvasc and one called Zocor is that they come in twice the size I'm supposed to take. That means they have to be cut in two. The VA gave me a pill splitter for that, but I resent the time in takes from important stuff like writing this blog.
I almost forgot the thyroid pill that has to be taken an hour before or two hours after eating. That certainly narrows the acceptable times so I solved the problem by taking it before breakfast, a meal I don't eat. All my life breakfast has been a cup of black coffee and a cigarette. Until now, when I have to eat so I can take the Dipentum. That, however, means I can't take the thyroid pill unless I get up in the middle of the night, something I do now and then although not for the purpose of taking pills.

So that pretty much explains my pill situation. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I quit taking all of them. Probably nothing. There's no way to be sure of that so should I ever feel suicidal it might be worth a try.

http://www.dickstodghill.com/