The Bard of Akron Rears His Head Again
AWAY DOWN SOUTH IN GEORGIA
I wish I was in Gaw-guh,
Why did I ever stray,
From the copperheads and rattlesnakes,
and that old red dirt and clay?
I'd like to stroll out in the swamp,
Where the cottonmouths abound.
They can kill a man with just one bite,
and never make a sound.
Don't forget about the chiggers,
They sure can make you itch.
If you find yourself among 'em,
You'll agree that they're a bitch.
And remember those big roaches,
The kind six inches long.
I've seen 'em leap clear crost a room,
Now don't tell me I'm wrong.
You oughta feel that Gaw-guh sun,
Oh, man, how it beats down.
It makes a man yearn for a beer,
And turns his pale skin brown.
Boy, how I'd love a plateful
Of downhome country grits.
The northern folks won't eat 'em,
Cause they give a man the. . .bellyache.
But you know those Gaw-guh Bulldogs,
Can beat the 'Bama Crimson Tide.
And when Ol' Miss sees 'em comin'
They just run away and hide.
Those Gaw-guh gals are lovely,
You've never seen the like.
But when they call you Sweet Thing,
They mean go take a hike.
Yes, I wish I was in Gaw-guh,
Cause of all those things I've writ,
But on second thought I'll stay up north,
Where no one ever eats a grit.
My deepest apologies to all the good folks of Georgia. Especially Jim Elders, who keeps guns around the house._________________
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